tangledornament

 I should really stop staying up so late. My mind wanders and the things I think are just unthinkable. 

I am in a major Andrea Gibson love fest now. I've been listening to her for a while, but I am really into her right now. Mostly this poem:



It's perfect.

Friend: I was just thinking about you this morning
2:49pm

Me: Why?
2:49pm

Friend: it's just crazy how people don't realize how appreciated they are and how highly others think of them
i think you're great and helpful and very beautiful
2:50pm

Me: wow. thanks, *******.
2:51pm

Friend: lol, sorry. that was a lot, but you were on my mind this morning
i'm about to hop in the shower, but have a beautiful day
2:51pm

A coworker and I went to this vegetarian-only restaurant today. I was really excited because being a vegetarian here is really hard -- there's so much seafood and steak on the menus.

As soon as we pull up to the restaurant, there's a big sign that says "Christian Restaurant." That's not the name of it but, for some reason, they wanted to emphasize that. So, whatever, we go inside.

The menu looks nice, has lots of options, and when I turn to the last page, it's full of scripture. Still, I'm like "whatever" and I order and eat.

The food was really, really good.

After eating, I head into the health food store that's attached to the restaurant and I find all this Christian conservative literature. There was this little book called "Return to Sodom" about the evil, violent homosexuals who want to convert little children and institute a new world order. It pissed me off, but mostly it made me sad. I can't believe that bullshit is still making its way around. Also, I thought I had just found a restaurant that I'd be frequenting. Too bad.

I'll take my queer business elsewhere. 

I sometimes think that I really want to be a professional writer and that I should attempt to get my work published, but then I walk into a bookstore and convince myself that the world is filled with enough novels and with enough people who think they can write. 

My boys turned 5 months old today.

I decided to be unlazy this December and send holiday/new year's cards. I sent messages to dozens of people requesting addresses so now I'm obligated to actually send them.  I got them printed and everything, but I'd really surprise myself if I get them done.  

I'm a queer Arab Muslim black woman who loves the smell of gasoline and is fueled by both the desire to smoke cigarettes and the knowledge to make sure I never do so. I am a news junkie who lives in a really messy apartment with my two energetic kitties. I sleep weird hours and I don't talk much. I cannot look at myself as queer alone, or as black alone, or as female alone; I feel that would be an imprecise picture because I am one whole and not lots of little pieces put together.  

I live in Mississippi. 

My wife and I were married two years ago on a lovely beach shortly after sunset. I regularly encounter racism, sexism, heterosexism, homophobia, Islamophobia, etc., etc., etc. It wears me down often. I graduated from (and kind of wasted four years of my life at) a conservative private college that my friends and I almost got expelled from. I aim to devote my life to equality, progressive politics and whatever comes out of that, but right now I work in the mainstream media. Yeah, I'm working on it. 

This is my second try at LJ, but maybe I'll update regularly this time.